I developed the service of “Difficult Divorce” Coaching as an outgrowth of my focus of working with people in emotionally abusive relationships. Often these relationships are also economically abusive. Unfortunately, sometimes people would come to me after they had unnecessarily and unfairly lost their house, their business, or custody of their children due to dishonest maneuverings of unethical spouses or partners. During this same time period, I helped other clients navigate very difficult divorces. I knew that better outcomes were possible.
Each situation is unique, so I will listen closely and ask questions to clarify your experiences and goals. When a partner has a history of being abusive, they are usually more difficult to divorce. There is a good chance that you may be dealing with someone who has a personality disorder. It is important to avoid pitfalls when possible and navigate as successfully as possible through unfair tactics.
As my client, we will review your needs and decide upon goals together. These goals may be revised as our work together progresses. The following list of services can be provided or expanded upon:
- Assistance in selecting a support team, including a lawyer.
- Reduce the negative impact of divorcing an abusive partner.
- Support for protection of assets and obtaining an equitable financial settlement.
- Assisting in navigating pitfalls, managing your weaknesses, and handling unfair tactics.
- Support in advocating for yourself within the legal system.
- Clarifying what constitutes abuse.
- Assistance in clarifying and setting boundaries.
- Support for maintaining adequate self-care throughout the process.
- Examination of various strategies and potential gains and losses.
- Consultation with your support team when problems arise or you don’t feel heard.
- Assess whether you would benefit from counseling with a local health professional to assist in alleviating the excessive stress, depression, or anxiety that may have arisen during the course of the relationship or relationship dissolution.
- Learn to recognize and avoid red flags when dating.
A divorce is an opportunity to reset your life on a healthier, more satisfying course, and it can be an opportunity for intervention if a spouse is abusive or chemically dependent or has a mental health issue. The goal is not to be punitive, but to help one or both spouses engage in healing, lead a more effective life, and be more effective parents. It is not uncommon for spouses who have been abused to experience problems with depression or anxiety. Chronic abuse takes a toll on everyone.
Let me be very clear that divorce coaching is not a legal service. You will need a lawyer. Difficult divorce coaching is support for going through a very difficult transition intact with someone who is skilled at recognizing the patterns of abuse and navigating abusive tactics, so that you do not capitulate when you need to remain resolute.
Please let me know if you are interested in my services. Comments or questions are welcome.
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